Grief and Loss for Teens

At one point or another, everyone will experience a loss or death - and some of us experience this in high school or college. So how do you deal with the aftermath?

There’s not one right way to get through this:

Many have heard of "the stages of grief": denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. However it's crucial to remember that this isn't a linear progression. You may move through stages in a different order. You may circle back. All of these feelings are acceptable, but allow yourself to recognize that there isn't a correct way or correct order to go through the aftermath of a death or loss in your life. 

Social media pros and cons:

You'll also want to weigh what you share on social media. Ask yourself if you're ready to talk about the death in your life before posting, or if you'd like people outside of your immediate circle to have access to this info. At the same time, it can also be helpful to reach out to others - so consider the pros and cons. 

Reaching out:

Ask yourself, "Who's in my circle?" Who is on your side? Who can you go to for support on other issues?

Many of us immediately go to our moms, or friends, but there may be other outlets available to you in addition to these go-to's. 

And, you may find yourself unaccountably opening up to someone you barely know, just because your feelings have reached that tipping point. It's normal and healthy, and a sign that you're ready to process further with someone else.

Meeting with a therapist:

We expect you to feel some sadness, anger, depression, etc. about your loss. But if it feels tough to move forward, or if it keeps coming up for you day after day, it’s probably a good idea to meet with a therapist.

Your therapist will work with you to figure out your reactions to this loss, help you build up coping strategies, and walk you through how to move forward.

Treating grief, death, or loss like a trauma:

There’s a specific type of grief called “traumatic grief,” which looks a lot more like a trauma reaction than a “typical” grief reaction. You would expect to see more anxiety, aggression, or shut down behaviors, but really a therapist would need to meet with you and assess if your grief reaches that trauma threshold.

Regardless of that severity, you will probably benefit from working with a trauma informed therapist (just like our therapists working at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis) so that you can be sure your therapist is catching any big signs that your grief is getting more serious.

And, with a trauma-informed therapist, you’ll probably work on building up skills before diving into your grief. We want you to feel ready to dig into the big stuff, while making sure you have the skills and support to handle it.

Curious to learn more about grief counseling for teens? Wondering if you need to meet with a therapist? Compassionate Counseling St. Louis works with kids, teens and college students throughout the St. Louis area. You can schedule your free phone consult right on our website, to talk more about logistics, next steps, and set up an initial appointment with a trained therapist.