"It Is What It Is" Guided Meditation: Letting Go Of Control and Stress
Anxiety therapy for college students and teens in St. Louis, MO
Our counselors are big fans of building relaxation skills.
We know our high school and young adult clients deal with A LOT of stress. They can be stressed about school, tests, and doing well. They can feel stressed about the future and about meeting their goals. And, a lot of times, they can feel stressed just about juggling all the important things going on in their lives.
When you’re stressed about doing well, and you’re stressed about meeting your high expectations for yourself, it can feel REALLY HARD to let things go.
Stress is an important, healthy emotion, but if often goes hand in hand with perfectionism and anxiety, and it can sometimes it can get in the way of doing well. Stress makes us feel anxious and on edge. It can keep us from turning in work when it feels like we’re not good enough, and it can even impact our bodies and brains.
Letting go of stress is hard.
It can be tough to let go of stress when you’re so used to it being a motivator, especially if you identify yourself as a driven person. Stress tries to trick you into thinking that you need it to be productive. That’s certainly how I felt about my stress in college and graduate school.
But the thing is, if you take away the stress, you’re probably still a driven person. You probably still care about things. You probably still want to do well. Stress is just there to muddy the waters and make it hard to focus and calmly plan out how to best deal with your problems.
Stress, control, and anxiety therapy.
When you feel stressed, you may feel the urge to try and control the world around you. It can feel really overwhelming when things are out of control, or when you can’t plan on what’s going to happen next.
But control is just an illusion. It’s actually impossible to be in charge of everything. While your anxious mind is telling you that you HAVE TO CONTROL WHAT’S HAPPENING NEXT, that’s not true, either. You can’t be in charge of everything. You have to let some of it go.
That’s where our guided meditation for letting go can really come in handy.
Guided Meditation Script for Stress and Over-Control:
Start in a comfortable seat, or lay down on your bed or the floor. You’ll want to review the script first, or have a friend or family member read it aloud to you, or click above to listen!
If you’re practicing this meditation for yourself, set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes. Any thoughts about “how much time do I have left?” you can let go, too, because you know something or someone else is in charge of the time.
Start with a couple of deep breaths
Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth.
Take another deep breath in… and out.
One more. In through your nose… and out through your mouth.
Let your breath just relax you in this space.
I want you to be gentle with any thoughts or feelings that come up for you today.
Thoughts and feelings come up all the time. This is just naturally what happens. It’s how brains are supposed to work.
But it’s also ok to let these thoughts and feelings take a pause.
Any time a thought comes up for you, I want you to look at that thought, explore that thought, and tell that thought - “it’s ok. It is what it is.” Then let that thought gently float away.
[pause]
You might notice thoughts about things on your to do list, or things that are coming for you.
Any time a thought comes up for you, I want you to look at that thought, notice that thought and tell that thought “It’s ok. It is what it is.” Then let that thought gently float away.
[pause]
You may have feelings come up, like stress, or worry, or anxiety, or even frustration.
Any time a feeling comes up for you, I want you to look at that feeling, notice that feeling, and tell that feeling “It’s ok. It is what it is.” Then let that feeling gently float away.
[pause]
You might notice thoughts about wanting to be in charge of what happens to you. It’s ok to want this.
If this thought comes up for you, I want you to look at that thought, notice that thought and tell that thought “It’s ok. It is what it is.” Then let that thought gently float away.
[pause]
As we continue this meditation, more thoughts, more feelings, might drift up for you. They may come fast. They may come slow.
Any time a thought or feeling comes up for you, I want you to look at that thought or that feeling, notice that thought or that feeling, and tell that thought or feeling “It’s ok. It is what it is.” Then let that thought or feeling gently float away.
Continue until the timer goes off, breathing in and out, and letting go of any thoughts as they come up.
[sit or lay quietly for remainder of meditation time.]
Parents need help too
When your child is struggling to cope with big emotions, you want to know how to help your child. Child therapy makes a big impact on kids - and parents need support, too, which is why we offer Therapeutic Parent Coaching at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis.
When do I need anxiety therapy?
Meditation is a great tool for stress management, but it doesn’t mean you have to just deal with stress and over-control on your own. You can always reach out to a therapist or counselor to talk more about your anxiety, figure out what else is going on underneath it, and build a really robust coping skills tool box, including meditation.
If stress feels like it’s getting in the way for you, it may be time to talk with a therapist or counselor in your area.
If stress often goes along with anxiety and perfectionism, learn more about our specialty.
If stress leads to anger, that’s super common! And, you might want to check out my book, When Anxiety Makes You Angry.
(Pssst, hey, want more meditation scripts? Try…)
Kelsey Torgerson Dunn, MSW, LCSW is the owner of Compassionate Counseling St. Louis.
Curious to learn more about how we use meditation to help with stress, overwhelm, and anxiety? Compassionate Counseling St. Louis provides specialized anxiety and anger management therapy for kids, teens, and college students. We work in Clayton, MO and serve kids, teens, and college students throughout St. Louis City, St. Louis County, Ladue, University City, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Coeur, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood. You can set up your free phone screening to see if we’re a good fit for your needs right on our website
Image Credit: Noorulabdeen Ahmad