Looking for a parenting coach in St. Louis?
TLDR: Compassionate Counseling St. Louis can help!
As anxiety therapists in St. Louis, we know how anxiety in kids and teens can often exacerbate the anxiety we experience as parents.
And that happens for a variety of reasons - like, you have your own anxiety, and when your kid has a meltdown in Target, you feel so overwhelmed you just have to LEAVE immediately.
Or when your child starts to wind up to a huge tantrum, you notice that your own fight or flight response gets activated, and you want to yell at them before they start yelling at you - even though you hate when you shout at them.
Maybe you notice your own symptoms of anxiety in your kids, such as your anxious perfectionism tendencies, your fear of judgement from others, your tendency towards making mountains out of molehills. You want to help your kid - but you’re dealing with your own feelings of guilt as well.
Is it my fault that my child is so anxious?
Anxiety is two pronged - there is a biological component interacting with the external stressors we encounter every day. That biological predisposition towards anxiety can be passed down from one generation to the next.
But having your own anxiety as a parent can be good, too.
You probably have found ways to manage your own anxiety, and because of your personal experience, you’re very aware of small signs of anxiety that your child shows, and that other parents might miss. This is a strength.
You also have a unique opportunity as an anxious parent to really model anxiety management for your child. And when you have healthy coping skills that you regularly use, you can be a hugely influential model for your child. This is why managing your own anxiety as a parent is crucial. Not only for your mental health, but for your child’s as well.
Expert anxiety coaches at your fingertips
Learn strategies for managing your and your child’s anxiety and anger with our trained anxiety experts.
If my child has anxiety, what’s the first step I can take to help them?
The first step to solving any problem is to understand it, right? This is often the approach that we at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis take to trauma therapy as well - we start with PRAC, part of the TF-CBT model, which stands for psychoeducation, relaxation skills, affective expression, and cognitive coping.
(Read more: TF-CBT and Trauma Therapy For Teens)
In terms of learning more about anxiety, you can start with reading books with your kid about anxiety, and use that as a jumping board to normalize it, identify how it feels in their bodies and how it impacts their behaviors. You don’t want to just jump into problem solving situations, no matter how tempting.
(Here’s a starting list: Help Anxious Kids With These 6 Awesome, Effective Books)
You can also help your kid or teen learn more about the physical signs of anxiety.
Signs like stomach aches, headaches, jumpiness, but also signs like muscle tension, feeling yucky in their tummies, their heart racing, their breathing quickening.
One great way to do this is through the body clues drawing activity, where you take time to color in where they notice anxiety in their body and pay special attention to differentiating between anxiety, anger, and other emotions that get muddled up.
(Here’s the how to: Body Clues Activity: Emotional Expression and Identification for Anxious Kids)
Okay, we know they have anxiety. We’re reading books, we understand the problem - but what’s next?
After learning about the problem, and helping yourself and your child toward a deeper exploration of how anxiety looks and feels, then you’ll want to work on building relaxation skills, understanding the internal and external experience of anxiety and other emotions, and learning cognitive coping skills.
Some of this is doable at home - especially when you can use a book, like What to Do When Your Temper Flares or, for teens, my book When Anxiety Makes You Angry.
But using a manual is often best paired with professional help - like meeting with an anxiety therapist, or working with a parent coach.
Parent coaching sessions with Molly and Samantha are currently available to book!
Our Parenting Coaches work with parents who:
Have tried it all and feel stuck
Feel their own anxiety and anger
Worry about if they’re doing it right or making it worse
And it’s open to all Missouri parents, whether or not your child is in therapy at CCSTL
What we cover in our Therapeutic Parent Coaching sessions:
Because we’re trained anxiety specialists, we can teach YOU how to handle these situations with grace and confidence - teaching you strategies for curbing the meltdowns, coming up with a plan, following through on the boundaries you set - and giving you a space to just process WITHOUT GUILT that, yeah, sometimes it’s really hard to parent an anxious child!
We’re here to give you skills while also helping you cope and take care of yourself, because you can’t parent from an empty cup.
Sessions are totally individualized to you, and include:
Problem-solving and troubleshooting around those outburst situations
Real skills and targeted problem-solving, learning the evidence-based tools that we actually use as anxiety therapists, in session
Relaxation and coping skills to teach your child - and use yourself! - so that everyone can stay calm in the moment
A plan for your own self-care, because being the parent of an anxious, angry child can be really hard - and we can't pour from an empty cup
Ready to take the first step towards a calmer, more confident parenting journey? Schedule your FREE 15 minute parent coaching consultation today!
Ready to get started with counseling in St. Louis? Our therapists specialize in anxiety and anger management for pre-schoolers, elementary schoolers, middle schoolers, teens, and college students. In addition to CBT, our amazing team of therapists also incorporate trauma-informed care, art therapy, and play therapy. Families come from Clayton, University City, Ladue, Creve Couer, Town and Country, Brentwood, and surrounding St. Louis areas. Email us to learn more at hello@compassionatecounselingstl.com or 314-339-7640.
