When Anxiety Makes You Angry: Chapter Outline
When you have anxiety-driven anger, you often feel like you’re ready to EXPLODE.
Often, it’s a few small stressors that happen, and then you get SO ANGRY. You yell, or shout, or scream - or you internalize it and get really stressed, tense, and mean. Parents and teachers might call you disrespectful. Friends ask why you seem so mad. And yes, you might feel anger - but that’s not the whole picture.
Sometimes, that anger is actually masking an underlying issue with anxiety.
Your fight/flight/freeze response gets activated in stressful situations, and while it’s really easy to notice that running away from a situation, or freezing and being totally shy, can be anxiety related, it’s easy to miss the fact that FIGHT is an equally valid reaction to anxiety-provoking events.
When Anxiety Makes You Angry is a self-help book for teens and college students who have anxiety-driven anger.
Their internal anxiety is leading to an external problem that looks a lot like an anger management issue. But actually, hidden underneath the surface, is all this stress, tension, and ANXIETY about lots of stuff. Anxiety in social situations, for example. Anxiety about doing well. Anxiety about being good enough.
Anxiety is valid, but it’s not always helpful - especially when it’s the kind of anxiety-driven anger that gets you in trouble. And it’s exactly why I wrote “When Anxiety Makes You Angry.”
So what does this book cover? And how does it help?
Let me walk you through each chapter of the book, and give a little intro to what we cover and the skills we’ll build.
I modeled this book on how I structure ongoing, in-person therapy with my favorite teens and college students. As a specialist in anxiety-driven anger, I KNOW how important it is to have the skills you need to manage the uncomfortable, overwhelming emotions that come up for you.
(Want to learn more about the book? Visit kelseytorgersondunn.com)
When Anxiety Makes You Angry: CBT Anger Management Skills for Teens With Anxiety-Driven Anger By Kelsey Torgerson Dunn, MSW, LCSW
Introduction: Why I Want You to Read This Book
Explore how the you look on the outside (angry) vs. how you feel on the inside (anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed), normalize your emotional reactions (I promise you’re not the only person that feels this way), and build awareness of the problem: angry outbursts, internal anxiety
Chapter 1: The Iceberg: What Else Is Underneath Your Anger?
Explore the anger iceberg, discuss “classic” anxiety (flight/freeze) vs. anxiety-driven anger (fight), and complete a body scan activity to identify your emotional experiences
Chapter 2: The Cognitive Triangle
Learn about the cognitive triangle through really clear walkthroughs, examples, and information on how to impact each part of the triangle
Chapter 3: Why Anxiety and Anger Are A-OK
Using ACT principles, in this chapter we explore something super important. When we accept our thoughts and emotions, rather than struggling with them, they feel less distressing. We’ll also work on identifying anxiety spirals and options to work out thoughts (CBT) or just accept them and move on (ACT), allowing for the reader to apply the most useful strategies for them.
Chapter 4: Figure Out Your Explosion Point With the Window of Tolerance
Introduce the window of tolerance and explore the cumulative effects of stress, recognizing that rarely just one stress happening at a time, making it much more likely to reach your tipping point and have an external angry explosion due to your internal anxiety
Chapter 5: Take a Deep Breath, It’s Time for Coping Skills!
My favorite chapter! We’ll walk through many, many coping skills strategies within the breathing, muscles, and mindfulness categories, having you track effectiveness of the skills and leaving the chapter with a clear coping skills toolkit.
Chapter 6: Problem Solving for Teens with Anxiety-Driven Anger
Introduce the concept of work it out vs just moving on, identify what gets in the way of solving problems or just letting them go, and explore the sphere of influence.
Chapter 7: The Three-Step Approach to Anger and Anxiety Management
Introduce you to the 3-step approach to anger/anxiety management: Identifying and Empathizing with your emotions, Calming Down, and then figuring out your Game Plan.
Chapter 8: Change Doesn’t Happen Unless You Want It (and You’re Motivated Enough to Follow Through)
Build motivation for continued work, identify the problems that may arise, and bring it all together with a summary of skills learned in the book, including references to previous chapters and resources to take skills further. It’s my favorite chapter.
You can find free printables on my author website, to help you take your book skills one step further. And, don’t hesitate to reach out if you need more help.
Anxiety and anger counseling in Missouri for adolescents, kids, and college students
The therapists at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis specialize in work with anxious, angry kids, teens, and young adults. We understand that anger is often masking other underlying issues, like anxiety, stress, or even trauma. Our counselings take the time to dig in to what’s going on underneath the surface, and focus on building concrete strategies to help you and your child manage overwhelming emotions.
If you’re interested in learning more, let’s schedule a free phone consultation and chat more.
Kelsey Torgerson Dunn, MSW, LCSW is the author of “When Anxiety Makes You Angry: CBT Anger Management Strategies for Teens With Anxiety-Driven Anger.” She’s also the owner of Compassionate Counseling St. Louis, a therapy practice in St. Louis, MO dedicated to helping kids, teens, and college students with anxiety and anger management issues. You can learn more at www.kelseytorgersondunn.com, and purchase her book here.
