The End of the School Year
The virtual school year, anxiety, and our covid 2021 summer:
Your child is wrapping up a whole year of primarily virtual learning and as anxiety therapists in St. Louis, we know how big of a feat that is. AWESOME JOB! You got through it! Right now, though, we’re on this weird precipice of almost fully returning to normal.
Vaccines are available to all adults. It seems likely that we’ll be back to fully in person school in the fall. And while your child may have already returned to school in person for some days, or almost all days, there’s still this lingering fear about case counts, social distancing, and what changes may need to be made for a safe return in the fall.
“There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing”
There was this great NYTimes article recently posted about languishing as a mental health state. While many of the kids and teens we’re seeing at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis already have anxiety, there is also a sense of malaise that is very, very present. It’s a blah feeling. It’s a lack of motivation. It’s a low grade semi depression, in addition to the anxiety they were probably already experiencing, underneath the surface.
Languishing dulls our motivation and our focus, and these are two big concerns for parents as we wrap up the school year.
Is my child angry or anxious? Is my child stressed? What should I be noticing?
As you already know, anxiety can present in a lot of different ways. Anxiety leads to a fight, flight, or freeze response. Couple that anxiety with the stress of an ongoing pandemic, racial trauma, social justice, etc, and you may be noticing an increase of:
Fight symptoms:
Temper tantrums
Fighting, with you or with siblings
Arguing
Non-compliance
Flight symptoms:
Running away from the computer during learning time
Hyperactivity
Difficulty completing work
Extra energy they need to burn off
Freeze symptoms:
Losing focus
Shutting down, especially when they do something wrong
Not wanting to engage with friends or with you
How do I prepare my child for this summer, and for next school year?
As a parent, of course you’re concerned about an increasing in anxiety and stress symptoms for your child - and you’re probably experiencing some yourself. So how do we get through this?
Recognize that this is okay.
It’s okay that this year is hard. It’s okay that anxiety is increasing. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you or your child. We never want to label thoughts or feelings as bad. We may not like them! But they make sense given everything going on.
Figure out the small changes you can make to help mental health.
Make sure everyone is getting outside at least once a day. Guide your eating towards nutritious food (pandemic weight gain is a big topic of concern in the media, and it really shouldn’t be - so focus on healthy food is food that makes you feel energized, not weight loss for you or your child)
Get extra support.
Even if you feel like you have a handle on the situation, it can be super beneficial to bring an expert in to the fold. Whether that’s counseling with our anxiety specialists or talking to the special education teacher about day camp recommendations, everyone can benefit from an extra pair of eyes assessing what’s going on.
Do we really need to meet with a therapist? Isn’t everything going to feel better once we hit the summer, and things go back to normal next fall?
Many parents, teens, and college students are wondering if now is the time to reach out for counseling services. Do you really need therapy? Aren’t you just stressed about what’s going on? We’ve done a whole year of this, so we’re probably fine, right?
You’re right that you’re probably stressed. So is your child! But that stress, and even trauma, due to coronavirus and shut downs and is often exacerbating mental health issues that were already there.
As trauma, stress and anxiety therapists, we know our stress tolerance has been hugely impacted by the pandemic.
Meaning the way that we normally handle stressors is no longer working. Things feel more overwhelming, much more quickly. So before you brush this off as just a sign of what’s going on, remember that anxiety can be hidden. It doesn’t always look like a classic flight or freeze response.
Hidden Signs of Anxiety (That Parents Often Miss):
Too much sleeping - either difficulty falling asleep/staying asleep at night, or body totally worn out by stress during the day
Thinking in worst case scenarios - catastrophic thinking
Anger issues and irritability - anxiety-driven anger that looks like aggression on the outside, but feels like anxiety and stress on the inside
Avoiding friends and family - social anxiety and overwhelm
Low level headaches and stomach aches - psychological impact on physical feelings
Perfectionism - high drive to succeed that gets in the way of actually completing things
Spacing out - seems to ignore you a lot
Distancing - lots of screen time, netflix, etc.
If you’re noticing several of these, it may be a good time to reach out for anxiety counseling.
Curious to learn more about anxiety therapy for toxic positivity in St. Louis? Compassionate Counseling St. Louis provides specialized anger management and anxiety therapy in St. Louis for kids, teens, and college students. We love helping with thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. We work in Clayton, MO and serve kids, teens, and college students throughout St. Louis City, St. Louis County, Ladue, University City, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Coeur, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood. You can set up your free phone screening to see if we’re a good fit for your needs right on our website.