College Readiness with Dave Boland, Director of College/Career Counseling at De Smet Jesuit
Going to college is a big step, and leads to a lot of anxiety, stress, and nervousness - for teens and for parents.
We interviewed several college prep counselors at local, St. Louis area high schools, to find out the best ways you can help your teen prepare. These counselors have worked directly with students and have first hand experience in what it takes to get them ready for this major transition in their life. We are so excited to be able to bring their expertise to you, in hopes that we can all work together to help your teen thrive when they get to campus!
We’re also accepting applicants for our college readiness summer intensive. Parents, graduating highschoolers, and returning college students can find more and apply right here.
Today, we are thrilled to be sharing the knowledge from Dave Boland, Director of College/Career Counseling at De Smet Jesuit.
How do you define college readiness for teens and their parents?
I try to take a holistic approach to college readiness. It obviously involves academic proficiency and a mastery level in certain subject material, but actual college readiness also requires an independence on the part of students to manage their lives emotionally and psychologically, as well as physically. Students need time management skills, self-discipline and the ability to delay gratification in order to meet all the goals placed on them through the entire college experience. We don’t expect every high school graduate to have all this mastered at 18, but they need to be able to show some level of understanding, and perhaps more importantly a willingness to learn, in all these areas of development.
What do you recommend students work on, including socially and emotionally, to prepare for college?
I tell my students that the best way to prepare for life after high school is to practice “life management” while in high school, and still at home. Don’t expect others to do things for them. Take control of all aspects of your life. Get in the driver’s seat and chart a course for yourself. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes, especially now while you have the comforts of home and the support system in high school that you have – friends, social groups, classes and teachers – who will pick you up and help you brush off the dust when you fall. Better to try and fail now, than later.
How do you encourage highschool juniors and seniors to cope with anxiety or perfectionism before the move to college?
Anxiety seems to be the prevailing reality of the day.
Students have so many more resources at their disposal, but all those choices and opportunities also create stress and anxiety. I try to get students to simplify and try to just deal with what is in front of them. They go through so many emotions and thoughts, expectations and forces (good and bad) throughout every day, that it’s no wonder students are stressed out. If I had a magic wand I would change the system entirely, but since I don’t, I simply try to assist the students with whom I have the pleasure of working. I try to take some of the stress off their shoulders – not by doing their work for them, but by helping them cope with the demands of their time. I help them take one thing at a time and do it well, learn from it, then move on to the next. Anxiety is all around us, and if we let it consume our lives (and it can) then we become paralyzed by it, and do nothing. Rather, I help teens face it, confront it, take it on face-to-face and take control of what they can in order to gain control of their lives.
What’s the biggest piece of advice you give to highschoolers that are planning to attend college?
Don’t let it slip by unnoticed. Don’t miss out on opportunities that you may never have again. Get the most you can out of every experience and learn from it; the lessons you learn are building blocks for your future. Remember why you are there – to get an education, and that education involves more than just what you will learn from books. The entire college experience has so much to teach you, soak it up and learn all you can. And don’t let the setbacks and bad days derail you. Let them be stepping stones for a better tomorrow. And yes, it only gets better!
What’s the biggest piece of advice you give to parents of highschoolers that are planning to attend college?
Don’t micro-manage. If your son/daughter can’t even fill out his own admissions application he will have trouble surviving in college. Let them fail… but be there to pick them up. And try to share in the excitement of this time in your kids’ lives. They take their lead from you, so set the tone early and show them how to live fully, then encourage them to do the same!
For a teen with anxiety or perfectionism, not knowing what to expect with college can be really tough. This is why Compassionate Counseling St. Louis created a weekly summer intensive designed to specifically target teens who may need a more personalized approach to handling their college anxiety. This program has limited spots and we only want to work with teens and college students who are ready to dig in and work hard. Read more about the specifics of our program and apply for your free phone consultation right here.
Curious to learn more about college readiness for teens? Wondering if your teen needs to meet with a therapist to discuss coping skills to manage their anxiety instead? Compassionate Counseling St. Louis works with kids, teens and college students throughout the St. Louis area. We highly recommend our college readiness intensive for the summer, but for your student who needs more long term therapy services, you can schedule your free therapy consultation right on our website.