Helping Your Child Manage Anxiety-Driven Anger: St. Louis Counseling Tips
The Three-Step Approach for Better Anxiety and Anger Management from St. Louis Anxiety Therapists
At Compassionate Counseling St. Louis, our expert team of St. Louis therapists specializes in anxiety counseling for kids, teens, and parents and we provide both in-person and online therapy. We often see children and teens who struggle with anger management, and many parents are surprised to learn that their child's disruptive behaviors might be rooted in anxiety. Our anxiety therapists in St. Louis have specialized training in identifying and treating anxiety-driven anger, offering families the tools they need to manage these challenging emotions.
Photo credit Unsplash Charlein Gracia @charleingracia, accessed 8.8.24
Understanding Anxiety and Anger: What’s Happening in the Brain and Body
Many parents ask themselves: Is my child angry, or just anxious? It’s a critical question, as anxiety and anger trigger similar physiological responses—like increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and muscle tension. These reactions can manifest as either anxiety or anger, depending on the situation.
When we experience stress or anxiety, our brains can become overwhelmed, pushing us into a survival mode known as fight, flight, or freeze. While this response is helpful in dangerous situations, it can lead to inappropriate reactions when triggered by everyday stressors. Understanding this connection is the first step in addressing anxiety-driven anger.
The Fight, Flight, Freeze Response: Why Anxiety Often Looks Like Anger
Children who are more prone to anxiety are often more easily tipped into the fight/flight/freeze response. While many parents expect anxiety to lead to flight or freeze behaviors—like running away or shutting down—anxiety can also trigger the fight response, resulting in anger or aggression.
This can be confusing and frustrating for both parents and children, as seemingly minor stressors can provoke major reactions. For example, a simple suggestion to join other kids at an event can escalate into a full-blown tantrum, leaving parents feeling helpless.
The Three-Step Approach to Managing Anxiety and Anger
1. Identify and Empathize: Start by considering the underlying cause of your child's reaction. Is it really anger, or is there something else at play? Discussing these feelings with your child in a non-judgmental way can help them understand their emotions better. Instead of criticizing their behavior, focus on empathizing: "It seems like you got really angry when we went to your new classroom. I’m wondering if part of you was feeling scared too."
2. Calm Down: Before you can address the situation, both you and your child need to calm down. Encourage your child to choose a relaxation technique, such as deep breathing, muscle relaxation, or guided imagery. Giving them a choice helps them feel more in control and invested in calming down.
3. Game Plan: Once everyone is calm, work together to create a plan. This might involve compromising on a solution or simply working through the situation step by step. It’s important to maintain clear limits while also allowing your child to contribute to the problem-solving process.
Why Choose Compassionate Counseling St. Louis?
Our approach at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis is rooted in understanding and empathy. We recognize that managing anxiety and anger is not just about controlling outbursts but about helping your child navigate their emotions in a healthy and productive way. Our anxiety therapists are here to support you and your child every step of the way.
If you're curious to learn more about how anxiety therapy can benefit your child, or if you're considering counseling for yourself as a parent, we encourage you to schedule a free phone consultation. Our team of St. Louis therapists at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis is dedicated to helping families throughout the St. Louis area, and we're here to partner with you on this journey. Our team also offers online therapy for teens and college students throughout the whole state of Missouri.
Take the first step today—contact us to learn more about our specialized counseling services in St. Louis and how we can support your family.
Curious to hear more, or are you a little reluctant about counseling? Compassionate Counseling St. Louis provides specialized anxiety and anger management therapy for kids, teens, and college students. We work in Clayton, MO and provide anxiety counseling for kids, teens, and college students throughout St. Louis City, St. Louis County, Ladue, University City, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Couer, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood. We also offer online therapy for teens and college students throughout the state of Missouri. You can set up your free phone consult right on our website.
