SMART Goals: How to Set Goals that You (or Your Teen) Can Actually Meet!
January 1st is a time for resolutions.
In fact, we originally posted this series on iInsta and fFacebook on the New Year’s Eve. But the reason we want to check in with you now, mid-Jan, is to see how those goals are going. Plus, we couldn’t resist posting on 1/20/2020!
If you’re like most people, you’ve probably dropped that resolution you made at the start of the new year. This is ok! It’s super common! But there’s a way to make sure your goals stick. And we’d love for you to pick up the mantle and give it another try.
As anxiety therapists, we know that to make your goals more attainable, and to increase your follow through, make your goals SMART - specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time sensitive. We will be talking more about each step below to really break down how to make your goals and resolutions easier to follow through on.
Great for kids, parents, and college students - especially when you have perfectionism and anxiety and a high drive to succeed (hi, is this you? If so, we’d love to work with you!)
S: Specific
Make your resolutions specific. You can start more big picture and get more and more specific from there.
2020 Resolution: Get Healthy
Here’s the thing about a goal like “get healthy” - it can mean a lot of different things. So figure out what it means for you! Is it about mental health? Physical health? Is it something small like getting more sick? Or something tougher like getting counseling for your anxiety? Spend some time journaling and you can start to discover what you want to change. When you get more specific you can figure out what you’re changing, and move on to letter M.
M: Measurable
Resolutions should be measurable - you should be able to track your progress! This can help us stay motivated, because we know when we are improving, and when we need to get back on track.
2020 Resolution: Do Better In Class.
How would you measure doing better in your classes? This ones pretty easy depending on how you want to improve.
Does doing better mean better grades? That’s what you’re tracking, your GPA and scores on every single assignment..
Does it mean completing more assignments on time? Start noting this down in a planner.
Figure out what you want to improve and how you can measure it, and you can drill down in to what you’re actually resolving to do.
A: Achievable/Attainable
Achievable goals for 2020. In addition to goals being realistic, they need to be attainable: meaning, they can be done, and you’ll know when you’ve done them. This can be a difficult part if your 2020 resolutions are a little fuzzy.
2020 Resolution: Happiness
Let’s say you have a general sense that you want to be happier in 2020. Great! But what does that mean for you? How will you know that you’ve attained a greater happiness? What does happiness mean? How do you measure it? Is it quantifiable?
It’s important to think about what your goals MEAN to you, and how you would know that you’ve actually reached them. And then, what would the ABSENSE of that goal mean or feel like to you?
Make your 2020 resolutions something that’s accomplishable. You’ll know when you’ve done it. You’ve considered what it will feel like if you don’t. You’ll stay motivated til you cross the finish line.
R: Realistic
How do you make your goals and resolutions realistic? A big component of this is HONESTY. Being honest with yourself and what you can do, and being gentle with yourself for limitations that every person has. Don’t be hard on yourself, and don’t hold yourself to unrealistic standards.
2020 Resolution: Yoga
Your 2020 goal is to practice more yoga - but more than that, you want to do all those amaaaaazing poses that people do. Backbends, handstands, mermaid pose - all of it!
But if we are really being realistic about our goal, we need to recognize that we can’t just jump in to these poses. If your resolution is to be able to do a full on Eka Hasta Vrksasana (one handed tree pose), and you have yet to do a regular handstand, that goal is going to take a really long time. So be realistic! And figure out some steps along the way, while searching out a great teacher to guide your way and make this more long term goal into a likelier reality.
Being realistic doesn’t mean you have to give up this goal. It just means that you have to give yourself enough grace to recognize that hard things don’t come easy - and really, they shouldn’t, because that takes all the joy out of accomplishing something amazing.
T: Time Sensitive
Time sensitive is an important component of making your goal/resolution SMART. What does this mean?
One: Set a deadline
Two: Check in regularly with where you’re at and where you need to go
Three: Break the goal into smaller steps while also giving yourself enough time to get these done
Don’t just set a deadline because it feels right/feels like what you ought to do. Set a deadline that takes into consideration what amount of time you’ve needed in the past. Set your check ins to be regular, too.
2020 Resolution: Less Anxiety
So each Monday, you rate on a 1 out of 10 how anxious you’re feeling. Using meditation, you want to notice a decrease in that anxiety you wake up with. So if you start at an 8 out of 10, maybe in two months you want it to be closer to 6 out of 10. Put a reminder in your calendar, and see where you’re at in March!
2020 Resolution: More Mindfulness
One big part will be meditation practice. So, schedule in when you’re actually going to listen to a meditation. And then figure out how you’re going to measure your effectiveness. Are you just trying to do it 2x a week? Want to work up to more? How long will that take? When do you want to check in and see if you’re consistently up to 3x a week? Then 4x? (Note: Meditation is good for stressed parents too!)
Time sensitive goals help to keep us on track! That’s what helps to make them SMART.
Feeling like you need some parent support?
Our parent coaching program is like therapy for parents, helping you come up with a SMART plan for how to help your teen.
Curious to learn more about setting SMART goals? Wondering how SMART goals can help make you better at school, calmer, and less prone to freak outs? Reach out for a free screening call at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis, and we can talk to see if counseling is the best next step for you.
We work with St. Louis-area kids, teens, and college students, from age 4 on up, specializing in anxiety, perfectionism, and anger management. We’re located in Clayton, MO and work with kids and teens throughout Webster Groves, Town and Country, Ladue, and surrounding areas.
This post was originally published January 19, 2020 and updated February 28, 2023.