When you’re an anxious teen looking for therapy, you’ll probably come across the letters CBT a lot. What do they mean? And how is CBT used for adolescent anxiety therapy in St. Louis?

CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and is an evidence-based treatment for anxiety and anger management issues.

Our anxiety specialists are trained in and incorporate pieces of CBT into their work with kids, teens, and college students at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis.

There are three important components that we explore in CBT.

Thoughts

The voice inside your head. Some people are always aware of their thoughts, and some aren’t. Both are okay!
Not always 100 percent accurate.
Neither good nor bad. Thoughts just exist.

Feelings

Your emotional experience.
Always valid, even if someone says you shouldn’t be feeling that way.
Heightened emotions make it harder to keep a clear head.

Behaviors

Your physical actions and reactions, like hitting, kicking, punching; or, avoiding, talking quietly, leaving.
Big and really apparent, or small and just noticeable to you.
All behaviors have consequences, either positive or negative, because what you choose to do influences the world around you.

CBT explores the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

CBT is all about the interactions between what you’re telling yourself and how you’re reacting. It has a ton of research behind it and is proven to be effective at reducing those overwhelming moments of anger and anxiety.

These thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all impact one another. This relationship provides a helpful framework for figuring out what’s going on with you and why. Obviously, when you’re in the middle of an overwhelming experiencing, it’s difficult to take a step back and ask yourself, Hmm, I wonder what thought is going on in my head right now. I’d love for you to get to that point eventually! But for right now, let’s use these three components to explore what’s happening, why, and what you can change.

By changing one, you impact the others.

Picture a triangle, with thoughts at the top, feelings on the bottom right, and behaviors on the bottom left. This is called the “cognitive triangle,” and we can see how each piece impacts the other.

Now here’s why the cognitive triangle is so important:

It’s easy to jump to an explanation and convince yourself that it’s the truth. You end up telling yourself that it’s a fact that your friends hate you, or it’s a fact that you’re not your father’s favorite. But are these really facts? Probably not. But when we tell ourselves, She must really hate me, or Dad doesn’t like me as much as my brother, it’s going to really impact our emotions and our behaviors.

Cognitive triangle practice:

(These are adapted from Kelsey’s book, When Anxiety Makes You Angry, coming out February 2022 from New Harbinger! Learn more and sign up for the mailing list here).

Let’s pretend you’re walking into the lunch room, and a group of classmates right next to you starts laughing. What’s the first thought that pops into your head?

If you’re like most teens with anxiety, you’ll probably tell yourself something like, That group is laughing at me. This thought is at the tip of your triangle.

Let’s move to the bottom right of the triangle, where we notice our emotions. Okay, you walk into the room, a group of classmates starts laughing, you tell yourself they’re laughing at you, so how does that make you feel? Maybe angry? Maybe scared?

Bottom left: behaviors. If you’re telling yourself that they’re laughing at you, and you’re feeling angry and scared, how would you react? Would you go up to them and tell them to shut up? Would you run away to eat lunch alone in the bathroom? Pretty big reactions, right?

But what if you told yourself something different?

Instead of jumping to the conclusion that they’re laughing at you, try coming up with something else to tell yourself. What if they’re laughing about a joke totally unrelated to you? What if they’re talking about a teacher? What if one of them is your brother’s friend, and she was just talking about him when you walked in? Unless you 100 percent know for sure that they were laughing at you, any of these explanations could be possible. Some may be more likely than others, but you get to decide what thought will best help you impact your feelings and behaviors for the better.

Cognitive triangle practice, part two:

So, let’s pick a different thought. Rather than, They’re laughing at me! what if we tried, Hmm, I’m definitely noticing this thought that they’re laughing at me, but they’re probably laughing at something else. On the bottom right corner, rather than feeling angry, maybe you’re feeling curious - or even bored. And then on the bottom left, your behaviors, you probably just go ahead and get your lunch. NBD.

What you think impacts how you feel and how you react.

And by taking that step back to really explore how your thoughts change your feelings, and your behaviors, you can figure out how to CHANGE, for the better.

Is this striking a chord?

Do you feel like your automatic thoughts are getting you into trouble a lot? Want more CBT practice? Check out Kelsey’s book, When Anxiety Makes You Angry, written for teens with anxiety-driven anger. And you might also want to search around for therapists in your area who can provide CBT for anxiety. If you live in Missouri, our team is ready to help.

reach out today

Curious to learn more about CBT for anxiety in St. Louis? Compassionate Counseling St. Louis provides specialized anger management and anxiety therapy in St. Louis for kids, teens, and college students. We love helping with thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. We work in Clayton, MO and serve kids, teens, and college students throughout St. Louis City, St. Louis County, Ladue, University City, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Coeur, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood. You can set up your free phone screening to see if we’re a good fit for your needs right on our website.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash