Helping Professionals Interview Series: Allegra Grawer, MSW, LCSW
It’s okay to feel worried and anxious.
Our therapists at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis have a lot of experience working with anxious kids, teens and college students and we wanted to take the time to really showcase the work that we do!
We have our ongoing interview series, which is a great way to get to know other therapists in the area, but we also want you to get to know the therapists here at our office, too! Each of our therapists tailor their approach to you and your child, so you get the most out of your sessions and you feel supported the whole time.
This week, we spoke to Anxiety Specialist Allegra Grawer on her clinical experience, what it’s like working at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis, and when it might be a good idea to get therapy for anxiety. We’re so lucky to have her at our office!
Can you talk about why you decided to work at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis?
I always envisioned myself as a clinician in private practice, and completed a practicum doing individual therapy with children....over 20 years ago! It's been a long, winding road leading me to Compassionate Counseling, in many interesting settings, but always working with families, children and teens. I heard about the position from a co-worker who worked with Kelsey (the owner of Compassionate Counseling St. Louis) in a school setting, and who spoke very highly of her as a clinician and person. And here we are now!
What kind of treatment do you provide?
I provide anxiety counseling, primarily Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), to help children and teens learn new ways to cope when they are anxious, angry, overwhelmed, and/or stressed. Sometimes there has been trauma or interrupted attachments in a child's past that contributes to their anxiety or stress response, and when appropriate, we use Trauma-Focused CBT to help the child learn new coping skills.
This fall, I’ll be completing training in EMDR, and I am so excited to be able to offer another way to help kids and teens process past stressors that are impacting them today.
What can parents expect to leave with after working with you?
I hope that parents gain a new insight into their child's behavior, and feel like they can better support their child when they become dysregulated and out-of-sync. I also hope that children leave therapy in a much better place than they were when they started! This would look like a child understanding what stress and anxiety is and feeling more confident and understanding of their emotions, what regulation feels like for them, and how to reach a more balanced state.
How long have you been working with anxiety, and how long have you been in St. Louis?
I've worked with anxiety, as a social worker, for 21 years! Anxiety is a part of the human experience, and in all the settings I've worked in, helping people understand why they sometimes feel anxious or worried, and then how to get back to a "normal" state is a natural part of work. This has been in my experience working with adoptive parents and adoptees, and in schools. I've lived in St. Louis for 26 years.
Who are your favorite types of clients to work with?
I enjoy working with all ages...I used to say that younger kids were my preferred age, but as I've worked with teenagers and young adults over the years, I've come to enjoy them equally as much! I really enjoy looking at the entire family dynamic, as human behavior is always a reflection of surrounding systems, and my experience working in schools helps me to understand behavior within school settings a little better too.
What happens during a first appointment with you?
During a first appointment I'm answering any questions the parents and child may have, and explaining what they can expect during our time together. I want the child to know and understand confidentiality and that our sessions are always private, with safety limitations. Then we spend time getting to know each other better! I like to make our time together enjoyable and one in which my clients feel comfortable being themselves.
Could you talk a little about how you work with anxiety and anger management in kids and teens?
Well I think it's very important that my client - no matter their age - understands what anxiety is, what causes it, and how that looks in their behavior and feels in their body. Once there's an understanding of this and how it is experienced by my client, we can start to figure out what tools will help them in managing anxiety, and in overall wellness and peace.
Can you talk a little about how therapy can help a child navigate their anxiety while in school?
It's very normal for children and teens to experience some anxiety around school! This may be especially noticeable when:
taking tests
trying out for a sports team or play
before games or performances, etc.
However, when anxiety begins to negatively impact the child, so they become fearful or unable to follow school expectations or participate in activities they previously enjoyed, they may benefit from therapy!
And of course, this all may be amplified right now if kids are thinking about IF they'll be back at school in-person, what school will look like, or when they'll get to see friends and teachers again.
So if some anxiety is normal, then how do you, as a parent, know when your child may need some help? When anxiety becomes unmanageable, or is interfering with other areas of a child's life, it may be time to seek out resources.
The tricky part of anxiety is that we often begin avoiding what causes us to feel worried, but in the case of school or activities that take place within the school day, this can be extremely disruptive.
From a child who experiences frequent stomachaches or other physical symptoms to avoid going to school, to the child who is shut-down during class, or who makes frequent trips to the restroom or nurse's office - - these avoidance strategies only reinforce the anxious response, and meanwhile the child may be missing out on necessary instruction or positive time with peers. And then there are the times when other behaviors may mask what is actually underlying anxiety...times when a child may be disruptive in the classroom, or have angry outbursts or difficulty focusing. Oftentimes, these and other similar behaviors that make it difficult for a child to learn, are masking what may be anxiety.
These would all be times that a clinical therapist may be of great assistance, in helping your child identify and understand how anxiety presents for him or her, and then learning skills to better manage and cope with anxiety
What are some of your favorite things about working at Compassionate Counseling St. Louis?
I love working with different types of clients - all ages, and who are coming to therapy for many different reasons. My job is never boring! I get great joy out of seeing clients improve and feel better, and when they leave therapy in a better place than when they started. When we are in the office, I love working in that space! It's a very welcoming, serene space, and I enjoy being there with clients.
What do you wish people knew about getting treatment for anxiety disorders?
I wish people knew how common anxiety is, and that they can start to feel better pretty quickly.
Share one fun fact about you that most people don’t know.
I LOVE dancing and spend time almost daily doing it!
Curious to learn more about how we provide anxiety therapy for teens and college students? Getting a little overwhelmed with the thought of a whole new year at school? We can help. Our therapists specialize in anxiety management for teens, college students, and children, age 4 on up. Schedule your free 15 minute phonecall on our website, at www.compassionatecounselingstl.com/consult.