Interview Series: Family Therapy with Valentina Penalba, Ph.D., LMFT
Is family therapy the right choice for me?
When things seem overwhelming, or you find yourself facing communication struggles in your home, it can be helpful to seek a therapist who can work with the whole family. Sometimes, it’s even helpful to seek family therapy in addition to individual therapy. But how do you know if your family would benefit from family therapy?
When we work with anxiety and anger management with our kids, teens and college students, we sometimes connect families to family therapists, even when everything else feels like it’s going well. A family therapist can offer their perspective on the entire family dynamic and work on issues together in a way that’s different from the work we do through individual therapy.
We reached out to family therapists in the St. Louis area to discuss the ins and outs of family therapy to help you decide if it’s the right choice for you. Our first interview is with Dr. Valentina Penalba who has been working with couples and families for her whole career. Please read more about her expertise below!
Why did you choose to become a Couples and Family Therapist in St. Louis?
I am passionate about working with couples and families and have been working my whole career with this population. I have observed throughout my career that there is relationship between children’s behaviors and family dynamics. I am grateful when I can work together with the family on the dynamics that makes them suffer and provide interventions that not only benefit the children but the whole family.
What kind of treatment do you provide and for what ages?
I provide individual, couple, and family therapy for teens and adults.
What can families expect to leave with after working with you?
Families will learn how to slow down, connect with their emotions, and see their family members in a different and more vulnerable perspective. As a result, families will change and expand their way of communicating that was unhealthy for them, and even expand their healthy dynamics.
Who are your favorite types of clients to work with?
My favorites types of clients to work with are families and couples. I also specialize in working with couples and families who experience some type of chronic illness. I do speak several languages, so I enjoy working with multicultural clients and the cultural issues that may arise when living abroad.
What happens during a first appointment with you?
During a first appointment, I identify the issues or problems that bring clients to my office. This allows me to identify the needs of every member and assess the levels of emotional pain in each family member.
Could you talk a little about your approach and how it plays into work with people recovering from anxiety?
I focus on increasing awareness of adaptive and maladaptive emotions, enhancing emotional regulation, transforming maladaptive emotions, and reflecting on adaptive emotions. For those recovering from anxiety, I focus on the symptoms first, and then I work with the client on the underlying aspects behind the anxiety.
What do you wish people knew about getting therapy as a family?
Even though an individual approach is sometimes necessary, a family intervention can help improve troubled relationships between partners, children or other family members. Family therapy sessions may address specific issues such as marital or financial problems, conflict between parents and children, or the impact of substance abuse or a mental illness on the entire family. Family therapy can be a complement to individual therapy.
What are some of the biggest benefits and/or differences in family therapy vs individual?
Individual and family therapy differ in terms of the focus of the therapy.
Individual therapy:
With individual therapy, there is one patient and the therapy focus solely on one client. For example, if an individual is in therapy for anxiety, the sessions will focus on dealing with their anxiety and the problems it may cause in other areas of their life.
One of the benefits of individual therapy is that it helps each individual to acquire a greater understanding of oneself and the environment, achieve positive changes in the different areas of life, overcome challenges and solve problems, learn to coexist and manage emotions such as sadness, anger and fear, and increase self-confidence and self-esteem.
Family therapy:
Family therapy, on the other hand, involves several people at one time.
The theoretical basis of family therapy is understanding the family as a system and that the members who compose it are interrelated. Therefore, when one of the members has a problem or symptom, the others also suffer the consequences and can collaborate in the solution.
One of the benefits of family therapy is that we work together with the family to resolve both family and relational conflicts, as well as problems, disorders or conflicts with one of the family members. As long as it affects everyone, everyone can collaborate on the solution. Therefore, the outcomes of the therapy will impact not only the individual but the whole family.
How can parents best decide if couples counseling or family therapy is right for them?
When parents see any of the situations below, they can do a consultation with a family therapist to evaluate the need for family therapy:
Conflicts between family members
Substance abuse or addiction
A family member's mental illness
Financial problems or disagreements about money
Problems in school
Difficulties between siblings
Children's behavioral problems
Caring for a family member with special needs. Chronic illness in the family
How can people learn more and contact you?
If you’re interested in learning more about my practice, you can visit my website or call (314) 437 9791
What’s something fun that most people don’t know about you?
I love dogs and had a litter of one of my female dogs at my home last year. I enjoyed them SO much.
Curious to learn more about anxiety treatment? Wondering if you need to connect with a family therapist in St. Louis? Contact Compassionate Counseling St. Louis to set up a free 15-minute phone consult. We’ll talk about what’s going on and best next steps - and if we’re not the right fit, we’ll connect you with other wonderful St. Louis-based therapists, like Valentina!
Compassionate Counseling St. Louis provides specialized anger management and anxiety therapy in St. Louis for kids, teens, and college students. We work in Clayton, MO and serve kids, teens, and college students throughout St. Louis City, St. Louis County, Ladue, University City, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Coeur, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood.