I work closely with parents of kids as young as 4, and I often have parents ask me if their expectations are too high. Should I expect my 5 year old to help with chores? Should my four year old know not to do that? Each child is different, and you will end up shaping your expectations around your children as they grow and develop. But below are a few unrealistic expectations for children that I've seen or heard in my practice:

How differently does anxiety manifest itself in girls versus boys? What accounts for such differences?

This May, I hosted a #HealthAMA ("ask me anything") allowing people to ask me any questions on temper tantrums and anger management for kids. You can find all the questions right here, and this summer I've pulled a few to expand on.

Gender differences in anger.

Based on my experience, I often see more boys with anxiety brought in for "anger management" than girls

January 1st is a time for resolutions.

In fact, we originally posted this series on insta and facebook on the New Year’s Eve. But the reason we want to check in with you now, mid-Jan, is to see how those goals are going. Plus, we couldn’t resist posting on 1/20/2020!

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably dropped that resolution you made at the start of the new year. This is ok! It’s super common! But there’s a way to make sure your goals stick. And we’d love for you to pick up the mantle and give it another try.

To make your goals more attainable, and to increase your follow through, make your goals SMART - specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time sensitive. We will be talking more about each step below to really break down how to make your goals and resolutions easier to follow through on.

Great for kids, parents, and college students - especially when you have perfectionism and anxiety and a high drive to succeed (hi, is this you? If so, we’d love to work with you!)

Learn more about us and why we think Compassionate Counseling St. Louis is awesome!

As a parent, it’s so easy to get overwhelmed when your child is melting down. Today’s guided meditation is designed to help you build some emotional resiliency so you can COPE.

When does anxiety in children become a medical concern?You may notice that your child is a worrier. When you schedule a babysitter, your kid has prepared a list of interview questions to ask the sitter before being ok with it. When you're 5 minutes late to picking them up, they're in tears. They need to walk through any potential problems and come up with five solutions whenever faced with a new situation. You're happy to help! But when is it too much?

Anxiety disorders are a huge concern in college.

Stress disorders, self-harm, overwhelm and depression all become big concerns in college due to a couple of different factors: age, brain development, and the stress and independence that go hand in hand with starting college.

And rather than you being able to monitor any big changes in your student, you’re not there.

You only hear and know as much as they want to tell you. Whether you have serious concerns, or you just feel like you’re out of the loop, it’s tough to parent your college student and feel like you’re actually having an impact.

Parents will often reach out to me about their new college students, sharing concerns like:

• My college student never calls!

• I’m worried my college student has anxiety and depression.

• I’m not sure if my college student can manage stress.

• Is my college student depressed/anxious/too angry/too overwhelmed?

• And the ultimate concern: I don’t know how to help my college student deal with everything that’s going on.

It’s tough to figure out how to parent and deal with these concerns when your student no longer lives in your house. And even if you’ve noticed signs of anxiety in the past, the game plan can be so different when your child is in college vs. when they were at home.

So what can you do?

When your child is angry, anxious, or easily overwhelmed, you do your best as a parent - and sometimes it feels like too much. That’s where parent coaching comes in.

Parent coaching is a way for you to get direct feedback and advice on how best to manage your child’s behaviors and emotions, along with recognizing the family dynamic. It’s like having a really supportive therapist just for your parenting. And we have a fabulous resource online and in St. Louis - Nicole Schwarz!

For some kids with anxiety and anger management, individual therapy is the best bet. We can work individually to help them build the skills they need to manage their emotions before they feel too big.

For other kids, individual therapy helps, but it’s not enough on its own. That’s where parent coaching comes in.

Read below to learn more about how Nicole works with parent coaching tailored to parenting styles.

I often refer people who are parenting anxious children to Nicole, because of her understanding and empathetic approach. I’m so excited to share this interview with you all!

Why did you choose to become a Parent Coach in St. Louis?

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Parent Coach. I started my career as a therapist working with children, teens, and families because I wanted to provide kids with tools and support early in their development. However, over time, I realized my favorite way to support kids was to empower their parents. I no longer provide mental health therapy, instead focusing on giving parents tools and education through Parent Coaching.

What kind of treatment do you provide?

I provide Parent Coaching which is personalized support, education, strategies, and encouragement to help you parent well through the difficult stages of child development. My coaching philosophy is rooted in Positive or Respectful Parenting, which focuses on brain research, connection, and teaching - rather than consequences or punishments.

We’re celebrating 6 years by sharing our favorite 6 games and books that parents can enjoy at home with their anxious kids and teens!

Here we are, a month into the new school year, and you're going through the homework struggle. Again.

You were hoping this year would be different. You worked so hard, collaborating with your child's teacher, and finally had a good system... by April. But now it seems like it's back tracked. And it kind of feels hopeless. You wonder if your kid is every going to get their act together when it comes to doing their homework.

What do you do?

You have a lot of needs to meet as a parent.

You want your child to be fed, but fed the best version of homemade, organic, local and nutritious meals - and oh yeah, you have your own food blog to document this and help other families.

You want your child to have self-esteem, and you want that self-esteem built at a prestigious private school, which doesn’t come cheap. But you have to give your child every opportunity that you can!

You want your child to have friends, but the right friends - friends who are also considering top colleges, or looking at the peace corps, and you want your kid to be influenced by these very driven peers.

You set your child up for as much success as you can…

So what to you do when they still have anxiety, and it feels like your fault?

It’s okay to see a family therapist even if you aren’t in complete crisis.

When we work with anxiety and anger management with our kids, teens and college students, we sometimes connect families to family therapists even if everything feels like it’s going well. A family therapist can offer their perspective on the entire family dynamic and work on issues together in a way that is different from the work we do individually.

We reached out to family therapists in the St. Louis area to discuss the ins and outs of family therapy to help you decide if it’s the right choice for you. We were fortunate enough to interview Sally King about her experience with helping families form better communication patterns and resolve conflicts. Read more below about his practice and experience!

Learn more about using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with anxious or angry kids and teens!

After 6 years of supporting anxious kids, teens, college students, and their parents, we check in with Kelsey about providing therapy in St. Louis!