Anger and anxiety often go hand in hand.

Rarely if ever is a person just angry. There’s usually something else going on underneath it. We may look angry on the outside, but internally we feel stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious. There may be grief, depression, or loss that is impacting our external anger. Or, we may not really know why we’re acting so angry, because we haven’t trained ourselves to figure out what else is going on. We know we seem angry to other people, so we accept that we must be feeling angry.

Anxiety can be tricky, and if you or your therapist isn’t digging underneath the surface, you might be working on fixing the behaviors, but you’re never addressing the underlying cause. That’s why you need to work with therapists who specialize in anxiety, and know that it doesn’t always look like your classic flight/freeze.

Games work as anxiety treatment and anger management, too.

As we discussed last week, when we use play interventions, we focus on three things:

1. Building our relationship

2. Following the rules

3. Practicing self-regulation

Games provide us a great opportunity to help model rule following, to process frustration as it arises, to build self regulation, and to build up our parent/child relationship.

Below, you’ll find 25 of our favorite games to incorporate at home, including a few that we use as child therapists...

You know your child’s not just angry. There’s something going on underneath the surface, too.

And a lot of times, that anger is masking anxiety, stress, and overwhelm.

When kids and teens (and even adults, too!) get anxious, their brains and bodies start to take over. Their fight/flight/freeze response gets activated.

That means for some kids, when they feel scared, they look scared.

The run away (flight) or totally shut down and clam up (freeze).

For many of us, our fight reaction takes over.

And instead of just looking scared on the outside, we look MAD. We look like we’re ready to get into a fight and defend ourselves. We’re ready to yell, or scream, or call you bad names, and we have a very, very hard time calming down.

So how can you integrate games to help your child build up their anxiety and anger management skills?

There are a lot of new stressors in our lives right now.

We’ve all had to get used to a new normal during this global pandemic. For a lot of our parents, one of the biggest challenges is moving school from the classroom to the kitchen table. Whether your kids are attending classes over Zoom or you have now been put in charge of teaching the material, no doubt this is a major adjustment for everyone. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed!

If you’re a perfectionist, college is probably going to throw you for a loop.

Your standards of success will look very different when you’re in a brand new environment, and we want you to be prepared. We interviewed several college prep counselors at local, St. Louis area high schools, to find out the best ways you can help your teen prepare. These counselors have worked directly with students and have first hand experience in what it takes to get them ready for this major transition in their life. We are so excited to be able to bring their expertise to you, in hopes that we can all work together to help your teen thrive when they get to campus!

Today, we continue with Trisha Hasbrouch, Director of College Advising at St. Joseph’s Academy. She breaks down the difference between personal success and perfection. We are so happy to feature her on today’s blog!

Because college is such a new experience, many teens feel challenged.

And feeling that challenge can be challenging in and of itself! If you’re used to things coming easy for you, college can really throw you for a curve.

We interviewed several college prep counselors at local, St. Louis area high schools, to find out the best ways you can help your teen prepare. These counselors have worked directly with students and have first hand experience in what it takes to get them ready for this major transition in their life. We are so excited to be able to bring their expertise to you, in hopes that we can all work together to help your teen thrive when they get to campus!

As our series continues, we are excited to bring you our interview with Dawn Michel, College Counselor at Chaminade College Preparatory School and President-Elect, Missouri Association for College Admission Counseling. She talks about how to prepare and also the importance of calling home and maintaining family relationships while on campus!

Going to college is a big step, and leads to a lot of anxiety, stress, and nervousness - for teens and for parents.

We interviewed several college prep counselors at local, St. Louis area high schools, to find out the best ways you can help your teen prepare. These counselors have worked directly with students and have first hand experience in what it takes to get them ready for this major transition in their life. We are so excited to be able to bring their expertise to you, in hopes that we can all work together to help your teen thrive when they get to campus!

Today, we are thrilled to be sharing the knowledge from Dave Boland, Director of College/Career Counseling at De Smet Jesuit.

College is an overwhelming time for both you and your teen!

It can lead to a lot of anxiety and nerves. We interviewed several college prep counselors here in St. Louis. These counselors have worked directly with students, and have first hand experience in what it takes to get them ready for this major transition in their life.

We are so excited to kick off our College Readiness series by sharing our interview with Joann Elliot! Joann worked as a highschool college counselor for many years before opening College Counseling Tutoring in 2014. She is also the author of When to do What: A Step by Step Guide to the College Process and The Honeycomb Approach: 6 Factors to Finding Your College Fit. Read more below about her experiences working with high schoolers gearing up for their big transition to college and about her latest book.

Tips for call quality, what to cover, and how to get the most out of our time together.

Compassionate Counseling St. Louis always offers teletherapy options, including virtual video sessions and phone check ins, when you’re feeling sick and can’t make it into the office. Below we have a few suggestions to make sure your virtual session is as useful as can be.

How your picky eater may benefit from food therapy

Dealing with picky eaters as a parent can be difficult. From dinners at home to nights out with the family, it can seem like a daunting task to get your child to eat. But how do you know if that picky eating might be a sign of something else and your child might benefit from food therapy?

We reached out to Lisa Coosman, OTR/L, to discuss with us the ins and outs of feeding therapy and what it means for your child. She dives into what it takes to be an Occupational Therapist, what signs you should look for, and tips and tricks for best supporting a child with food aversions.

We see it coming every year. Our phones ring off the hook when spring time is on the horizon, as parents wonder how to prepare their anxious teen for college. Heading off to school can be an exciting time! But all of those new responsibilities, freedom, and big changes can also be overwhelming. We want to make sure that your teen is as prepared as possible!

Why is it important to start getting your teen ready for college now?

You might be thinking that you have plenty of time to ensure your teen is prepared for college. It’s only March! Your teen isn’t set to be on campus until mid August. What’s the rush?

Well, if you have an anxious teen, you know that preparing for something sooner rather than later is always a good idea. Having proper support in place early on, will make the transition for your teen seem more doable and approachable. Not to mention, it will also help lessen the overwhelm when they have an idea of what to expect and the change isn’t happening all at one time.

At one point or another, everyone will experience a loss or death - and some of us experience this in high school or college. So how do you deal with the aftermath?

There’s not one right way to get through this:

Many have heard of "the stages of grief": denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. However it's crucial to remember that this isn't a linear progression. You may move through stages in a different order. You may circle back. All of these feelings are acceptable, but allow yourself to recognize that there isn't a correct way or correct order to go through the aftermath of a death or loss in your life.

Both parents and kids can benefit from child psychological testing

It’s no secret that teens experience a lot of change. Starting new schools and meeting new people can be overwhelming. All of that change can make it hard to communicate how they're feeling, especially to their families. It’s important for teens to know that they aren’t alone in how they feel and it’s okay to be anxious!

Dr. Dan Weinstein, PsyD, helps people find their strength and accept who they are by utilizing CBT and elements of DBT. It’s his dedication to his patients (and his juggling skills!) that makes us so excited to have interviewed him for today’s blog! Please read more about his practice below!

Why did you choose to become a psychologist in St. Louis?

I am from St. Louis and I chose to be a psychologist because of my interest that began at age 9 with a family friend who was working on his Ph.D. in psychology at Wash. U.

It’s winter in St. Louis and, as happens every year, we’re getting more and more calls from anxious teens and college students concerned that they might have depression. 

Right off the bat, it’s important to know that we can’t diagnose depression just based on a few concerns or a phonecall. But it’s important to know that depression is on the rise for kids and teens, and depression is a serious mental illness. And, we can figure out some good next steps depending on what you’re noticing (which is why we schedule free 15-minute phone screenings if you’re wondering whether or not counseling is a good next step for you). 

Why do anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand?

Anxiety and depression can go hand in hand for many teens and college students. For some, one seems more apparent than the other and is more of the primary concern. For others, both seem to be equally impacting what’s going on.

Sometimes, anxiety and eating disorders go hand in hand.

Our anxiety leads to overwhelm, and many people try to deal with that overwhelm through their food. Eating disorders can range from bingeing to extreme restriction, and you want to be sure that you’re working with someone who truly understands the impact that the ED has on your brain, body, and behaviors.

When we work with anxiety, especially with our teens and college-aged students, we want to be sure that we are assessing for eating disorders - and if they are experiencing them, we want to connect them with a specialist who understands. That’s where Laura Bumberry at Partners in Wellness comes in.

We’re so excited to have interviewed Laura on today’s blog! Please read more about her expertise, and how she incorporates families into her work below.

The final week of our winter break series is here! Join us as we dive into family traditions, forgiveness and gratitude!

Here’s your recap of all of our instagram posts for this week, all tidied up for you in one easy to find spot (and if you want to see this on insta, follow us over there @CounselingWithKelsey!)

Tip #10: Celebrate Family Traditions

You know what we love about the holiday season? All of the family traditions! Spending time with your kids and making memories can be just as fun and exciting for you as it is for them.

Whether it’s matching pjs, a pancake breakfast, or watching the same holiday movies every year, every tradition is special.

And, it's always an option to add to your family tradition repertoire. Ask your kids for suggestions for new traditions and maybe those will become fast favorites. What matters most is the time you’re spending together and the family bonding that the holiday season brings!

Winter Break! Has it started for you yet? Here are some suggestions of ways to tweak your plan and make sure that you’re comfortable dealing with the unexpected.

Here’s your recap of all of our instagram posts for this week, all tidied up for you in one easy to find spot (and if you want to see this on insta, follow us over there @CounselingWithKelsey!)

Tip 7: Set Clear Expectations

Winter break is here! Or for some families, just around the corner. Now that we're actually in it, it's a great time to review and re-set clear expectations for your kids.

Talk with them about what the liked or didn't like about winter break last year.

Re-evaluate your plan and your schedule of events.

Preemptively talk with your co-parent about how you'll handle meltdowns, fights, arguments, or anxiety outbursts in the different settings you'll be in.

Go through examples of logical consequences (you don't have a crystal ball, but you do know that types of challenges your kids normally face) and help your child come up with a plan for how to avoid the things that normally get them in trouble

And while yes, we may be doing a lot of warning, it's important to feel prepared so that you can set up winter break to be a fun time for everyone (or at least to have pockets of fun moments!)

Tip 8: Option to Opt Out

Hey, friends! Do you and your kids have a million things to do? Well, as a head's up - you always have the option to opt out. ALWAYS.

Welcome to week 2 of our 12 tips for winter break series! We’re here giving you our top tips for managing winter break at home with the kids. This week is all about emotional support - what to do and how to do it so that you don’t feel 100% overwhelmed.

Here’s your recap of all of our instagram posts for this week, all tidied up for you in one easy to find spot (and if you want to see this on insta, follow us over there @CounselingWithKelsey!)

Tip 4: Create Some Space to Chill Out

Relaxing is kind of hard to do as a parent - you need to be on top of everything. But over winter break, there are so many great opportunities to just take it down a notch and chill out. And when you take the time to relax (and take care of yourself), you’ll feel so much more ready to be calm for your kids.

As a parent you have a million things on your to do list already, so I hate to add one more… But maybe it helps to view this more as an opportunity instead of a demand! When we’re calm, our kids are easier to calm.

Even better - if you are stressed, and you take the time to acknowledge that to your children and demonstrate how you're planning to calm down, you are DIRECTLY SHOWING THEM what to do when they feel overwhelmed, too. Model what you want them to do! It'll be a huge help - we promise.

Tip 5: Relax

Ok, ok, you hear all the time from us that you need to relax. But how do you do it? Come up with your own totally customizable relaxation plan! Choose one strategy from each of the categories below and boom, you've got your plan. Let's walk you through it: